I know I haven’t written for a while. Life in the super-stardom fast lane is just so – fast!
However, I have shocking news to tell you. I just tripped across this new movie purporting to star me and you know what? They’ve used some stand-in Komodo!
And what’s worse – the star of the show seems to be a bunch of monkeys. As soon as I get out of this warehouse I’m locked up in I am going straight to my lawyer re breach of contract.
**I** am the star and it’s going to stay that way. Ha!
Your everloving scaly son,
PS Crikey – I hope they don’t expect me to share this space with the shipment of monkeys. It’s bad enough there’s so much beetroot in here.